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6:49 PM.
" Friday, April 3, 2009

okkay, under the advice of my dear dear sister, i've decided to come revive this dead blog. okkay. no one's really doing anything to keep this alive. i'll TRY to post more. but i don't see the point coz no one visits this blog anyway. ohwellz, unhappiness aside, nothing much really goes on around me now. i just continue with my usual boring routine, and that's about it i guess. well, i've been discussing with DoomBunny about, ahem, someone. and i've been thinking more about it now. what i should do etc. what should i do? bloody confused. i just wanna escape into another world. so nowadays you'll find me daydreaming alot now. of what i would want to do, of my future, of the happy memories poeple left behind for me, of what would happen if i said or did things differently, and lots of other things. and i realised i don't have any true friends at school. you've found your new bff, congrats. i guess that would happen sooner or later when we're in different classes. well so did you, good for you. and i don't really talk to you in class anymore. and sometimes, i just feel oh-so-irritated by you and your... emotions? i don't know if that's the right word to use. and i guess we only talk about things we like, if you get what i mean. when i talk to people online, i talk about other people's problems, never about me. i guess i've got too many secrets, and no one should know coz the consequences would be too dire. i know, coz you do that everyday. i know no one understands this post, coz i don't wanna spoil the delicate balance between us. you won't mind, i don't think i will either, but that means one more enemy. will it? and coz there are so many secrets, so, so many. i want someone to share it with, but that person may not have appeared yet, or maybe have not proven him/herself to me yet. or maybe i just don't trust anyone whose not family. i just so tired with life. i say that everyday: whoa, damn tired manz. and people think: lolz she don't sleep enough is her own problem, complain for what?? ohwellz, i guess if you read this, you'll understand now. i don't want to say anymore. there are more important things for me to do. over-reacting and clinging on to the past won't get you anywhere, i promise.
Love, JOVYNE xD


"THE ME .
a bona fide smile




PLEASE... HEAR WHAT I'M NOT SAYING

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the mask I wear. For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me. Pretending is an art that is second nature with me, but don't be fooled.
... I give the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without; that Confidence is my name and coolness is my game; that waters are calm and that I'm in command and I need no one. But don't believe it; please don't.
I idly chatter with you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing, nothing of what's crying within me. So when I'm going through my routine, don't be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying; what I'd like to be able to say; what, for survival, I need to say but I can't say. I dislike hiding. Honestly I do. I dislike the superficial phony games I'm playing.
I'd really like to be genuine, spontaneous and me; but you have to help me. You have to help me by holding out your hand, even when that's the last thing I seem to want or need. Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings. Very small wings. Very feeble wings. But wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy and your power of understanding, I can make it. You can breath life into me. It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls, and therein lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive, and I am a child.
Who am I, you may wonder. For I am every man, every woman, every child.. Every human you meet.





Singapore
Singaporean
Chinese
Cantonese
11/10/1993
St. Anthony's Canossian Primary School 1999-2005;
1/2 AL 3/4 GA 5/6 HI
Mini-Tennis
Anglican High School 2006-2009;
1L 2J 3L 4L
Dance Society
JIAQ
POKs
  • Friendster

    JOVYNE CHUA
    24/10/1993
    SACP 2000-2002 1B 2B 3E
    RSS 2002-2005 4/8 5/1 6/1
    AHS 2006-2009 1L 2F 3C 4C
    AHSEDC ex-vice-pres
    JIAQ <333
    Needs:
    #1 JIRO
    #2 CALVIN
    #3 ARRON
    #4 FABIEN
    #5 A-WEI
    #6 WILLIAM
    #7 187
    #2 JIAQ
    #3 DRAMA JUNIORS
    --in her life--

    "WISHES .
    once upon a moon

    JOVYNE WANTS:
    SHIT i can't find my word document with all my WISHES >.<

    BEL WANTS:

    SLEEPOVER
    SPORTS BUDDY
    improving on INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS
    BREAKING DAWN
    LOCK-PROOF journal
    a DUMBBELL
    GOSSIP GIRL dvd
    TWILIGHT book series
    a game of TENNIS

    "CALENDAR .
    upcoming events

    July6 Math Chapter Test
    July7 First Friday mass
    July8 Parent's 2nd Wedding Anniversary
    July16 Recollection

    "SHOUTBOX .
    screaaaaammmmmmmmm


    ShoutMix chat widget

    "CLICKABLES .
    clickidy-clicks


    A
  • Aaron
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    B
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    "PAS T .
    replay please

    November 2008
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    "CREDITS .
    say thank you

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