i shall try to make this my last post before mid-years...
haven't updated in a long time. needless to say for other people. just gonna do some simple updates, then continue my crazy studying for mid-years...
stepdown was yesterday. and it was a super emotional affair. alot of people cried. i didn't. coz i'll still see them tomorrow, and tomorrow's tomorrow, and till the end of the year. so i told myself don't cry. wait till the end of the year. wait. wait. i really miss drama. its really damn fun. everyone there is like, so enthu. and i really had alot of memories there. all thr acting, doing props, directing, and all the stupid, mad things we did together, everything. 3 years just passed like that. and its too late to have any regrets. coz there won't be anymore chances to make up for it. i don't think ihave any regrets. i made friends there, super good friends at that, had the chance to act in SYF, and experienced the most wonderful 3 years ever. all the ED memories are running through my head now. especially those memories i gained this year. with my Humanities Challenge people. it was a fun ride all the way. serious, at times, but mostly we had alot of fun with each other. and i finally got to know you guys better. after 3 years. NO REGRETS. i seriously am happy to know you guys. even though problems cropped up just before we stepped down, but i believe it'll all be over. maybe i'll blog about it someday. i'm kinda pissed at those people. but i won't ruin this post. maybe tomorrow. or tomorrow's tomorrow. i don't know. FAITH, JAX, JEREMY, KEITH and lastly REBECCA, not forgetting all the others who contributed to the wonderful memories, zen, kc, chelsea, jerome :), sheryl, and alot more others, too many names to mention. haha, those simei care centre days just came back. i don't wanna drag this on anymore.
I’m sorry. For letting you down. For failing your expectations. Want to hide myself under the blankets, block out the worldly affairs, forget whatever wherever I am, disappear from the face of the earth. Don’t want to have to try mighty hard to give the response everyone expects to hear. Don’t want to think about it. Don’t want to face it. Want to remove whatever connections I have with the outside, block myself from everyone, cloud everyone’s voices and thoughts, mute my inner self. Escape from the inner struggle. Just, shut. up. i really really really want to study with a friend, long-term ;/ i’m lazy to blog. i’ll b/c invisible.
good friday was fun. even if you didn't help me relieve my tension by going out with your other friends. so, it WAS fun. my sister, mum and me went to marina square. and we watched Knowing. and today, corinne told me 4C guys watched Knowing yesterday too. okkay lolz. the show was suuuper nice, and it was a real eye opener about how fragile our planet is and how easy it is for us to die. well sad things aside, we went shopping after that. and bought my parents' aniversary present. it was damn cute!!! and we walked around and we went to ClubMarc. my mum spent like $70+ on 4 pieces of clothes. and she bought me this red, plasticky material jacket and it is damn chio. haa, damn happy. then we went to suntec for dinner and we went home. sooo fun :) oh wellz, it may be boring to you, but walking around with the people you love and knowing that they love you too is something you should treasure. everything else seem like nothing. and we were talking. it was a good chat. overall, it was a great day. surprisingly, i learnt alot on life lessons and well... ahem, my love life. all advice from my sister. and for that day, just one day, i forgot about everything, everyone else. and what bliss that was, that is all i can say. my sister can relieve my tension too. and i'm appreciate that fact. coz she'll always be there for me and give my the help i need when i need it. and that is the thing only family can give. friends can't.
okkay, under the advice of my dear dear sister, i've decided to come revive this dead blog. okkay. no one's really doing anything to keep this alive. i'll TRY to post more. but i don't see the point coz no one visits this blog anyway. ohwellz, unhappiness aside, nothing much really goes on around me now. i just continue with my usual boring routine, and that's about it i guess. well, i've been discussing with DoomBunny about, ahem, someone. and i've been thinking more about it now. what i should do etc. what should i do? bloody confused. i just wanna escape into another world. so nowadays you'll find me daydreaming alot now. of what i would want to do, of my future, of the happy memories poeple left behind for me, of what would happen if i said or did things differently, and lots of other things. and i realised i don't have any true friends at school. you've found your new bff, congrats. i guess that would happen sooner or later when we're in different classes. well so did you, good for you. and i don't really talk to you in class anymore. and sometimes, i just feel oh-so-irritated by you and your... emotions? i don't know if that's the right word to use. and i guess we only talk about things we like, if you get what i mean. when i talk to people online, i talk about other people's problems, never about me. i guess i've got too many secrets, and no one should know coz the consequences would be too dire. i know, coz you do that everyday. i know no one understands this post, coz i don't wanna spoil the delicate balance between us. you won't mind, i don't think i will either, but that means one more enemy. will it? and coz there are so many secrets, so, so many. i want someone to share it with, but that person may not have appeared yet, or maybe have not proven him/herself to me yet. or maybe i just don't trust anyone whose not family. i just so tired with life. i say that everyday: whoa, damn tired manz. and people think: lolz she don't sleep enough is her own problem, complain for what?? ohwellz, i guess if you read this, you'll understand now. i don't want to say anymore. there are more important things for me to do. over-reacting and clinging on to the past won't get you anywhere, i promise.
i shall dedicate this post to my fellow ED-iots:
i just went to visit our ED blog. and i read a post by zhao'en. well, of all people, yeah, ZEN. and you can say i've seen the change in most of you. zhao'en being the playful kid who mixes with the guys all the time to one who knows how to appreciate drama. that's seriously cool. i don't really know what else to say. the sec4 syf people became more bonded. so did i, with the sec3s, especially the humanities people. i fianlly realise how important drama means to me after reading zhao'en's post. not that i never realised it before, but i now see HOW important it is now. yeah, olevels are drawing near, and i guess we should treasure the times we spend together. like how i surprised i was when i heard that zhao'en is studying with chelsea, of all people (given that they quarrel about almost everything ><) i won't limit this to within ED, but i find it kinda hard to spend time with my classmates. i did try to ask, but replies are mostly negative. drama seems to be what's pushing me on now. i don't find myself close to my classmates, more to ED now. i miss the 2 times i studied with you guys. i don't know why. and when you hear those emo emo song for friends, i find memories in drama coming to me. never once where it was memories with my classmates. NO OFFENCE, BUT THAT'S A FACT. Love, JOVYNE xD p.s. i agree with junni. even i'm biased or whatever, you should stand by whoever becomes president coz its what drama becomes after you step down as exco like us. me and chelsea didn't do a good job, so please please please do me a favour and make drama even better. do what we didn't (which is like everything). and sorry for making you clear up the mess we left behind. we can't be group8 gases, but more like group 1 metals upon reaction with water - EXPLOSIVE.
10:40 AM.
" Saturday, April 25, 2009
1. 2.4 run at east coast was fun :) had stitches half a minute after i started running >< by the time the 1st song ended it was gone. started increasing seed bit by bit then i finally came in 11th :) 1st - lishan (ED!), 2nd - liling (ED)!!! COOL RIGHT???
2. thanks wenjie for your help and all the encouragement :) i really got the courage to finally say it, after like, more than a year. i hope its stabalised now, and i can manage on my own. then people won't say i kao bei anymore >< and for keep telling me to go sleep. i finally slept at 9plus, but i woke up at 7.30... ps, thanks for lending me space in your locker ;)
3. ED!!! fianlly got around to studying with you guys. especially JAX and KEITH. who were there for both sessions. i hope they'll be there for future ones as well ;D
4. DAMN. mid-years are like, less than 2 weeks away? if i remembered correctly. and i doubt i can finish studying, coz i made the effort to come revive this dead blog... but i'll just do my best and study like an idiot.
5. my grades are kinda slipping. i hope its coz i sleep late and wake up early and i'm suuuper tired and can't concentrate. i hope this won't happen for mid-years. DAMN.
mainly, that's what happened to me since my last post. won't be seeing me around for much longer. and i finally used the computer coz i needed to download history powerpoint. BYE.Love, JOVYNE xD
7:50 PM.
" Friday, April 17, 2009"Once an EDiot, forever an EDiot"©JOVYNE xD
10:36 PM.
" Thursday, April 16, 2009
6:38 PM.
" Saturday, April 11, 2009
Love, JOVYNE.
6:49 PM.
" Friday, April 3, 2009Love, JOVYNE xD
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