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7:12 PM.
" Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Zzz... today's wednesday. and i'm doing a countdown to march holidays :) hahaa, just can't wait till i don't see any AHS people anymore :))) seriously! not that i don't like the people around me, but i just feel like i don't want to see any of you. that feeling is like, so undescribable. i feel so... 厌倦 of you guys. no offence lahh, but that kinda includes all my friends and classmates??? hahaa. its like, i see you people everyday, till i'm sick and tired of it. it gets so boring and tiring to put on that mask for you guys to see. people notice that i'm nochalant about stuff. i don't want to care at all. i really don't. but you think i have a choice? LIKE NO I DON'T. i have to care about these minor shit when i don't want to at all. i just want to concentrate on my studies and shut everything else out. i'm beginning to see the pattern here. i can tell, i've grown. and changed. you guys see me everyday you just don't notice it. my thinking has changed. i just focus on the things i want and need. and fulfilling my dreams. just focusing on the things that are important to me. i just want to shut every other shit out. i've matured. i don't talk alot. and i'm used to sitting alone. thanks jamus, seriously. i like it. i don't have to care about other people's feelings when they sit next to me. like what will happen when i ignore them. i like sitting alone. even better when i'm sitting at the back. i just need to care about the feelings of the people infront and beside me. all the more better when i'm sitting in the back corner. i really hope charmaine can put me in one corner. like when i was sitting next to corinne. i was so damn happy then.... i want single row. i don't bloody care about the other people who need to sit with their friends and share all the secrets and bloody shit. not referring to anyone in particular. don't slam me for this. 真的好像让一切成为事实,不要再让它继续当梦想。这包括在学校所发生的。不想管,不要管,不会管。。。

JOVYNE.


"THE ME .
a bona fide smile




PLEASE... HEAR WHAT I'M NOT SAYING

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the mask I wear. For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me. Pretending is an art that is second nature with me, but don't be fooled.
... I give the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without; that Confidence is my name and coolness is my game; that waters are calm and that I'm in command and I need no one. But don't believe it; please don't.
I idly chatter with you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing, nothing of what's crying within me. So when I'm going through my routine, don't be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying; what I'd like to be able to say; what, for survival, I need to say but I can't say. I dislike hiding. Honestly I do. I dislike the superficial phony games I'm playing.
I'd really like to be genuine, spontaneous and me; but you have to help me. You have to help me by holding out your hand, even when that's the last thing I seem to want or need. Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings. Very small wings. Very feeble wings. But wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy and your power of understanding, I can make it. You can breath life into me. It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls, and therein lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands, but with gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive, and I am a child.
Who am I, you may wonder. For I am every man, every woman, every child.. Every human you meet.





Singapore
Singaporean
Chinese
Cantonese
11/10/1993
St. Anthony's Canossian Primary School 1999-2005;
1/2 AL 3/4 GA 5/6 HI
Mini-Tennis
Anglican High School 2006-2009;
1L 2J 3L 4L
Dance Society
JIAQ
POKs
  • Friendster

    JOVYNE CHUA
    24/10/1993
    SACP 2000-2002 1B 2B 3E
    RSS 2002-2005 4/8 5/1 6/1
    AHS 2006-2009 1L 2F 3C 4C
    AHSEDC ex-vice-pres
    JIAQ <333
    Needs:
    #1 JIRO
    #2 CALVIN
    #3 ARRON
    #4 FABIEN
    #5 A-WEI
    #6 WILLIAM
    #7 187
    #2 JIAQ
    #3 DRAMA JUNIORS
    --in her life--

    "WISHES .
    once upon a moon

    JOVYNE WANTS:
    SHIT i can't find my word document with all my WISHES >.<

    BEL WANTS:

    SLEEPOVER
    SPORTS BUDDY
    improving on INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS
    BREAKING DAWN
    LOCK-PROOF journal
    a DUMBBELL
    GOSSIP GIRL dvd
    TWILIGHT book series
    a game of TENNIS

    "CALENDAR .
    upcoming events

    July6 Math Chapter Test
    July7 First Friday mass
    July8 Parent's 2nd Wedding Anniversary
    July16 Recollection

    "SHOUTBOX .
    screaaaaammmmmmmmm


    ShoutMix chat widget

    "CLICKABLES .
    clickidy-clicks


    A
  • Aaron
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  • Ashley
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  • Aveline
    B
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    C
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    D
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    E
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    I
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    T
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    U
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    X
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    Y
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    Z
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    "PAS T .
    replay please

    November 2008
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    January 2009
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    April 2009
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    September 2009
    October 2009

    "CREDITS .
    say thank you

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